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UnrealShantanu S. Bhattacharyya Gift for your lady ?
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Guy 1 - I dont know man. I am so screwed. Only a few hours to go and I still dont have a clue !!
Guy 2 - Relax buddy. We will figure this out. How difficult can it be ? Its just a gift for your girlfriend. So wats wrong with gifting her an expensive perfume ?
Guy 1 - What! Are you even listening ? No perfumes, creams, hair gels nothing. These gifts have a knack of getting misjudged. I told you I dont wanna take any chances.
Guy 2 - Yaa ok ok ... lemme see how about a 'makeup kit' ?? hehhheee just kiddin !
Guy 1 - C'mon bro focus. Its her b'day tomorrow. It needs to be awesome.
Guy 2 - Hmmm. I think you should buy her a gold pendant. (wide grin)
Guy 1 - I thought abt that. But there is a problem. She dislikes ornamental stuff as gifts. Espescially from me.
Guy 2 - What !! She doesn't like being attractive ?
Guy 1 - No no she does. But she believes that such gifts focus on her external beauty. And she wants a guy who appreciates her not for her looks but for the person she is. So its like ...
Guy 2 - Wait a sec ... so she wants a guy who never tells her how beautiful she is ? I mean thats weird ! Isn't it ?
Guy 1 - Its not like that. Vanity is universal to women and she is no exception. But it has to be indirect. Casual mention of her being most glamorous in the party or looking into her eyes intently and all that. Its basically a careful calibration between making her feel beautiful and yet making her feel that its never abt her beauty.
Guy 2 - Whoa !! That must be tough. But honestly tell me, wasn't her beauty a major aspect of you falling for her ?
Guy 1 - Not at all. It was her high school grades and knitting talent. C'mon dude it was obviously her green eyes and auburn hair and ... FOCUSSS!!
Guy 2 - hahhaaahha Ok how abt a step by step yoga book + dvd to nourish her internal beauty ?
Guy 1 - nope ! not because the idea is pathetic but because she already has a collection of those !! She is an independent modern woman bro. Think in those lines
Guy 2 - Well then I have the perfect gift suggestion for her. A 500 GB external hard drive.
Guy 1 - Perfect ! You remember Jason ? The guy had a huge crush on her. Once he gifted her a 8GB pen drive. The poor guy got a crash course on how unromantic guys can be and how it was a perfect example to show his thoughtlessness in deciding gifts for her. A relation nipped in bud or may I say crashed in a pen drive :)
Guy 2 - amazing :) fine no tech stuff. get her a girlie girlie stuff. like 101 delicious recipes or cooking made easy !
Guy 1 - Would you like the same gift ?
Guy 2 - err no but I am anyway not the one handling the cooking. right ?
Guy 1 - wrong ! atleast wrong in saying that in public you moron ! "men who expect their life partners to double up as cooks are pigs". Direct quote from her last week's sermon.
Guy 2 - Boy !! I could come up with multiple arguments against it but right now lets not get into that. Buy her any showpiece whatsoever and get done with it ! Tell her its a traditional family item and comes with love from the 'Henry' family to a 'would be' Henry.
Guy 1 - But then she is not gonna be a Henry.
Guy 2 - So you are not marrying her ? C'mon bro ! The seriousness with which you are deciding on her gift made me think you are committed !
Guy 1 - Yes I am. But that does not make her a Henry at any time. Women dont automatically adopt the husband's surname these days. Its a medieval thinking !
Guy 2 (slams the table, gets up and starts wearing his coat) - You know what bro, I am sorry. I can't help you. Nobody can. Afterall you are thinking of a gift for the most perfect, idealist, women lib activist this decade. She wants us to overlook her external beauty and admire her intestines, be chivalrous when leaving the chair for her but not be a pig by expecting traditional roles from them and she is clearly way smarter than Michelle Obama, Sonia Gandhi, Corinna Schumacher, Melinda Gates and others like them who lost their identity by adopting husband's family name.
I suggest forget her birthday and forget her ASAP.
I was almost done with my coffee. I wanted to leave but I was still curious about Guy 1. Almost wanted to walk up to him and ask what his final decision was. Of'course I didn't do that but I sort of got my answer. I saw him make a phone call just when I was leaving.
Guy 1 (on the phone) - Hello, Mystique flowers ? ...... Ya, Could you kindly deliver 26 red roses to the following address by midnight please ....
I walked back to my car thinking about the entire conversation at the cafetaria. Issues are bound to arise in any relationship. Sometimes they are trivial and sometimes they need a bit more understanding from both partners. In most cases the issues are just a manifestation of our huge egos and our rigidity feeds a simple quibble into a mammoth disagreement. But I earnestly believe that there is nothing and I insist nothing that cannot be solved with a bunch of roses. Pack it with some love and you are done -:)
P.S. - I also insist that the girl take up bulk of the cooking and become a Henry ASAP. No compromise :)
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