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Shantanu S. Bhattacharyya 8:00 AM Biochem Class
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I am the TA (Teaching Assistant) for the biochemistry course for 2nd year undergrads. My duties include grading the quizzes, assignments, exams, helping students with their problems and above all attending the class at 8:00 AM in Scaife Hall every monday, wednesday and friday. I would have never signed up for TAing this class if I knew it started this early. My only real motivation was Melanie. Melanie Sebastien was a friend of a friend of an undergrad research student in my lab. I saw her everyday at the departmental coffee hour. Green eyes, blonde hair, smart glasses - lets say she was perfect. So when I came to know she was planning to take this course, my choice for which course to TA was a lot simpler.
The very first day of class I realized that the price I had to pay for getting to see Melanie just 3 more hours every week was lot higher than I thought. I hit the snooze button on my alarm clock 4 times before I fought myself and got out of my cozy bed. To make matters worse it was -21 deg C outside. Signing up for the 8:00 AM class in a 'fall' semester in Pittsburgh felt like the biggest mistake of my life. But then I closed my eyes for 10 secs, imagined Melanie asking me about the biochemical rate constants during my office hours and headed out for the class. Typically this class has 45 to 60 students. I was praying to see a bit less because one student less means one less student to grade and one less student to ever have issues. Huh ! As soon as I entered the class, I saw my prayers washed away in heavenly piss. 85 pair of eyes stared at me as the course instructor introduced the TA to them. 85 students !! Darn. But there she was. Second row, third chair from the left. Maybe it wasn't that bad after all.
A month has passed since the first day. Every day since then, I curse the alarm, curse the snow, reach the class late, stare at Melanie sitting in the second row and then go and silently park my rear in the last row of the class. Melanie never came to my office hour and I never got to explain her the beauty of biochemical rate constants...i.e till yesterday ! My office hour is on thursday 5 to 6 PM. The time is strategically chosen, because students have an assignment due on friday and by thursday evening they tend to wake up to that fact and hence the TA becomes most helpful. I almost skipped a beat when Melanie walked in through that door.
Melanie - Hi! Do you think you can help me with the assignment due tomorrow.
Me - Sure ! Come in. Have a seat. So which problem are you stuck with ?
Melanie - Can we start with the first one ?
The first question just asked the name of three basic amino acids. It was a ridiculously simple question taken straight from the first slide shown in the class. The idea was to give the students more confidence for the more complex questions ahead. Any other day, any other student and I might have really got annoyed. But a glance at her fluttering eyes and tensely pursed lips meant that I was more than eager to help her. Plus this was my chance to show her what a genius I was.
Me - So Melanie, can you name some amino acids. We will review their properties and find out which are acidic, basic and neutral.
Melanie - Ummm... lemme think... aa ... ok adenine. I guess its acidic. Is it ?
Me - What ! Thats not even an amino acid. Are you sure you wanted to say adenine and not alanine ?
Melanie - Alanine ? Oh ya ya. Thats what I meant.
Me - Well Melanie, I think you should review the slides from this morning class. If you do, you will find that lysine, arginine and histidine are the basic amino acids. I shouldn't have told the answer but this is just factual stuff. So its ok. Is there any other question you wanted to ask ?
Melanie - Ummm ..ya Can we look at question two ?
Now please dont get me wrong. My comment might sound biased but at occasions like these I genuinely wonder why nature keeps such a perfect balance between brain and beauty in girls ? Why is excess of one always at a heavy price of the other ? Anyways, I did my best to explain her doubts in 12 out of the 12 questions we asked in the assignment. My office hour finished 45 minutes past the closing time and I couldn't wait to get home and forget all about it. After a shower and dinner, I felt much better. I even convinced myself that this could be a good thing after all. She would continue to have problems ahead, she would continue to come to office hours and I can continue to impress her. Nice ! Little did I know that today's morning class was carrying more bad news for me. First I walked halfway to my class and then realised I forgot to carry the last week's quizzes which I was supposed to give out today. An extra 20 minutes in the snow. Duh ! Then in my hurry I couldn't arrange all the quizzes alphabetically. It didn't feel like a major issue till the Shung brothers came to ask for their quiz. There are four Shungs in my class. Idi Shung, Wedi Shung, Koito Shung and Mo Shung. I spent about 10 extra minutes trying to figure which quiz belonged to which Shung while the other students waiting in que gave me their nastiest stares.
Then I settled at the back of the class as usual. And as usual there was Stan sitting one row in front watching youtube in his laptop. Not a problem generally except today he was checking out scenes from the movie 'Fair Game'. If you have scene the movie or check it out on youtube, you would know why Cindy Crawford can be a problem for concentrating on the lectures. Then there are the regulars - Debbie lost in her text messaging conversation, Alex wrapped up in online poker and Mohit snoring away oblivious to the obvious discomfort of his neighbors. I sometimes feel that just a 2 minute clip of Mohit in the class will be enough to make Dean's office reconsider the 8:00 AM classes.
Five minutes short of 9 AM everybody started packing their stuff. Some even started sneaking out of the backdoor. They missed the special announcement by the instructor - We are going to have an exam next Friday. The TA will hold a special 2hr review session on Tuesday apart from his regular office hours on thursday. Plus, in order to let you prepare better, the assignments you handed over today will be graded by the TA by monday. You can let him know if you have any questions. There are good decisions and bad decisions. There are good days and bad days. And then there are BAD decisions like TAing for 8:00AM class which result in BAD days like this! And for those of you who wanna argue that all this pain should be worth a beautiful girl like Melanie, here is a copy of the mail I got 10 mins back.
Hi Shantanu,
I plan to concentrate more on my research work this semester and hence I have decided to drop this course. Plus,to be very honest, I am not a morning person and it is very hard for me to attend a class that starts at 8 AM and maintain my concentration for an entire hour. Infact I tend to fall asleep within first 10 minutes of the lecture. I should have known better when I signed up for the class. I should probably find out from you how you stay motivated to get up and reach class every single day!.
Anyways,I regret wasting your time and effort. I hope you will keep this confidential.
Thanks,
Melanie.
I guess the word is 'irony' but I prefer the alternative word 'life'.
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